It's Over
by Forlay
Summary: Rachel becomes a controller and her whole world falls apart.


#  It's Over

##  By: Forlay

###  Chapter One-Tobias

    I was soaring on a sweet thermal above the forest when I saw her. Rachel. Walking towards my territory. Probably coming to celebrate the end of the war with the Yeerks.   
    Okay, perhaps I'm celebrating a bit prematurely, but I have good reason to. We're pretty sure there aren't any Yeerk ships left in orbit and nearly all the human controllers have been freed, including Tom. Jake has wanted to tell him about our role in his freedom, but we've held him back. We don't want any one to know about us until we're sure the Yeerks are gone for good.   
    < Hey, Rachel! > I called down to her and started to dive down.   
    She stopped walking and looked up. When she saw me she smiled that super model smile that always made me feel week, and waved.   
    < What's brought you here? > I asked as I perched on a tree branch slightly above her head.   
    She shrugged. "Just felt like coming out here. It's a beautiful day and the Yeerks are practically gone, which makes it one of the best days I've had in a long time. I figured we could go out and do something. Want to go out? McDonald's?"   
    < Sure, > I fluttered to the ground and began to demorph.

###      Chapter Two-Rachel

    _Oh, God, Tobias, don't do it!_ I pleaded silently in my head.   
    _Shut up, human, _the Yeerk in my head sneered.   
    _No, damn it!_ I shouted. _I will _not_ shut up as long as you're threatening to kill the guy I love!_   
_    Get over it, girl, and get used to it, for he is only the first of your little group to go. Of course, he is the unluckiest one, but neither a hawk nor a non-morph capable human will be worth anything to me._   
I watched through eyes that were no longer mine to control as Tobias...my sweet, caring, trusting Tobias...finished morphing human, possibly for the last time.   
    Once he was finished, "I" reached into the gym bag I'd been carrying and pulled out more appropriate clothes than his morphing suit for him, while discretely double checking on the dracon beam that'd been hidden in the bottom.   
    "Let's go," the Yeerk had me say cheerfully once he was changed, and, arm in arm, we walked out of the forest towards town.

###  Chapter Three-Tobias

    Lunch at McDonald's was a new experience, but a welcome one. I hadn't eaten a hamburger for a long time, possibly before I'd been trapped. And even as a human I rarely got to eat out, thanks to my dead beat uncle and too-busy-to-care-about-her-nephew aunt.   
    We spent an hour and a half out before heading back to the forest where I could demorph, but Rachel seemed to be stalling by window shopping.   
    "Oh, I've _got_ to get this dress! And there were some shoes a few stores back that match it perfectly!"   
    "Uh, Rachel? They're great and all, but can we keep moving?"   
    She sighed a little, "Yeah, let's keep going."   
    With just minutes left, we reached the woods. As I was about to being demorphing, Rachel grabbed me suddenly and began kissing me roughly. Surprised and short on morph time, I tried to push away when I felt the end of a gun shoved into my stomach.   
    "Good bye, Tobias," she whispered cruelly through the kiss and pulled the trigger.

###  Chapter Four-Rachel

    I watched in horror as Tobias' eyes widened in shock and pain. He stumbled backwards and collapsed as his knees buckled under him.   
    He looked down at the smoking hole in his stomach and then up to my face. "Rachel...?" he struggled to say, then closed his eyes.   
    _Noooooo!_ I screamed in my head. I didn't want it to be true, it _couldn't_ be true! I wanted to kneel down and hold him in my arms, but the Yeerk just laughed cruelly.   
    "One down, four to go."   
  
    _Let's see, who to go after next? _The Yeerk mused silently as he made me walk out of the forest. _The Andalite filth? No, you don't like him much, it wouldn't hurt you to see him dead. Same with Marco--_   
_    Like hell it wouldn't hurt!_ I interrupted. _They are my friends and fellow Animorphs. Hurt any more of them and I'll--_   
_    You'll what? Kill me? Find a way to save the rest of your friends?_ He laughed. _If you couldn't warn the one you 'loved', how do you expect to save the rest?_   
_    I'll find a way, Yeerk, just you wait._

###  Chapter Five-Cassie

    I was in the barn trying to coax a big wolf into taking a pill when Rachel burst in, scaring every animal in the barn.   
    I jumped back from the wolf before it could bite my arm. "Geez, Rachel! What's wrong?"   
    She had a panicked look on her face, one that didn't belong. "Cassie! In the woods...Tobias!" She was too panicked to make an entire sentence, but I got the point. Tobias was in the woods, hurt.   
    If I hadn't been so surprised, I would have thought of how Rachel would have brought to the barn, or he would have morphed, but I had other things on my mind.

###     Chapter Six-Rachel

    _Come on, Cassie!_ I pleaded, _See through it! Can't you see what's wrong?_   
    The Yeerk just laughed at my pleading. He knew that his plan would work. After all, Cassie was my best friend. She'd trust me with anything.   
    We were running through the woods, the Yeerk was leading Cassie to the area he had left Tobias' body.   
    "The there," the Yeerk made me way while pointing through the trees. Cassie sprinted ahead of me.   
    "Oh, my God."

###  Chapter Seven-Cassie

    Rachel had pointed me to a small clearing near the edge of the forest. Laying carelessly on the ground was a body. Tobias, in his human morph, dead. A dracon beam burn in his stomach.   
    Rachel couldn't have known about this, she wouldn't have come for me. She would have killed whoever had done this, or gotten Ax.   
    "What happened--"   
    "Shut up, human."   
    I spun around to see Rachel with a dracon beam aimed at my chest.   
    "Rachel?"   
    She sneered. "I'm not 'Rachel', not anymore. She's trapped up here, screaming at me," she tapped the side of her head with an index finger. "I'm Sub-Visser 33 now."   
    "Did you do this?"   
    "What? Kill the bird-boy? Of course I did. Neither a bird or a non-morph capable human are of any use to the Yeerk empire."   
    "Then why kill me? I can morph."   
    "It's all up to Rachel. Which would hurt her more, you dead, or alive in some corenr of your mind with some hope, however futile, that you'd be free someday?"   
    "Me being a controller would hurt her more," I said, both truthfully and stalling for time. To do what, I don't know, perhaps just to live.   
    Rachel, no, the Yeerk, laughed cruelly. "Sorry, Cassie, but that's wrong. But we do have a consolation prize for you."   
    The last thing I saw was a flash of red light coming towards me, before I saw only black.

###      Chapter Eight-Rachel

    The Yeerk laughed as the dracon beam hit Cassie square in the chest.   
    "What a pity, she died instantly," I heard my voice say.   
    _Good bye, Cassie_ I said silently. Cassie had been right, seeing her as a controller would have been worse. She may have been dead, but she was free.   
    "Who's next? Jake? No, the leader should be last. The Andalite scum should be next, before he can discover these two and make trouble for me.   
    _Do you really think you'll be able to sneak up on Ax? Read my memories, you know he's impossible to sneak up on._   
_    Oh, I have my ways, trust me, I have my ways._

###  Chapter Nine-Ax

    I was in my scoop, enjoying a rather long installment of 'These Messages', when I heard a stick crack behind me.   
    I tensed up and swiveled my stalk eyes in all directions, looking for danger. When I saw no one, I figured it had been an animal and went back to 'These Messages'.   
    < Hooked On Phonics worked for me, > I chanted along with the commercial. My friends say this is one of the more annoying installments of 'These Messages', or commercials as they call them, but I find it enjoyable.   
    The Hooked On Phonics show reminded me of Tobias. He often made fun of it, along with Marco, and it was nearly time for 'The Young and the Restless'. Tobias always comes to watch it with me, however, he hadn't arrived yet.   
    As I was distracted by my thoughts, someone came up behind me. Before I could react, I found my tail had been twisted so I couldn't move it, and a dracon beam was pressed against the side of my head.   
    "Don't move, Andalite filth!" I heard a familiar voice hiss in my ear.   
    Despite the attacker's order, I turned a stalk eye at her.   
    < Rachel?! >   
    "Sub-Visser 33," she correct. "Rachel is no more, and neither are you."   
    I tried to twist my tail around to at least knock Rachel--the Sub-Visser--our, but she had it twisted at an angle where movement was impossible.   
    "Just so you know, you're not going to be the first to go. Your nephew and Cassie are already gone."   
    < Why kill us? >   
    She laughed cruelly. "Y'know, Cassie asked that same question."

###  Chapter Ten-Rachel

    "Y'know, Cassie asked that same question," the Yeerk said, then pulled the trigger.   
    He laughed using my voice as Ax's body feel to the ground. He used my eyes to glance at the TV, a soap was on, Young and the Restless, I think. Two of the characters were...well, let's say I now knew where Ax's sudden interest in the uses of beds came from.   
    "The trash you humans put on television," he sighed. He picked up Ax's remote and switched off the TV.

###      Chapter Eleven-Rachel

    Getting Marco would be harder than the others. I had no reason to see him. I avoid him at all costs, despite the hidden admiration I have for him, and he probably for me. But the Sub-Visser was determined to kill us all. and the reason for killing wasn't simply to make my life miserable, although that was a handy by-product. Visser Three wanted to kill his "Andalite Bandits" with a passion. When I was caught and he learned all our secrets, he decided he might as well kill all of us, possibly even me, he hasn't decided yet.   
    _We'll call him_, the Yeerk mused, still trying to figure out how to capture Marco. _Tobias has called a meeting in his meadow. Cassie called you and is now calling Jake, I'll say. When he gets to the meadow, I'll be waiting._

###  Chapter Twelve-Marco

    RING  RING  RI--   
    "Hello?"   
    "Hey, Marco, it's Jake."   
    "What's up?"   
    "You talk to Cassie today? We were supposed to meet at my house an hour ago. I called her, but there wasn't any answer at her house."   
    "She's probably out in the barn trying to get a grizzly bear to take it's medicine," I joked, trying to lighten Jake's mood.   
    "The phone in the barn has the same number as the house."   
    "Maybe she's out with Rachel?"   
    "Her and Tobias had a date this afternoon," he was beginning to sound panicked now.   
    "Jake, calm down. I'm sure she's okay. Something probably came up suddenly, an abandoned skunk litter, and she didn't have a chance to call."   
    "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm just over reacting," he said, trying to reassure himself. "I'll talk to you later."   
    "Later," I said and hung up the phone. I was about to go back to playing a new computer game, but the phone rang again.   
    "Hello?"   
    "Marco? It's Rachel."   
    "Hey, Rach, what's up?"   
    "Oh, nothing much. Cassie just called me, wanted to know if we all wanted to meet out in the woods."   
    "Sure. Do you know where she's been though? Her and Jake had a date an hour ago and she never showed. Jake's freaking out big time."   
    She paused for a minute. "Uh, she was...out. A...an unexpected...thing. She didn't go into it, but she's calling him as we speak to invite him with us. Tobias and Phillip are gonna meet us there."   
    "All right, I'll be there in a few," I hung up the phone and sighed. Tobias probably had some big news, not something I wanted right now. This was was supposed to be over.   
    Reluctantly, I turned off my computer and quickly scribbled a note to my dad, who was on a date, that I was going over to Jake's. I opened my window and began to morph osprey. But at the back of my mind was a nagging feeling that something was wrong with this situation.

###  Chapter Thirteen-Rachel

    The Yeerk had me crouched in the bushes, out of sight as Marco demorphed.   
    "Jake? Cassie? Rachel? Tobias? Ax?" He called out when he noticed no one was there.   
    The Yeerk made me stand up. "How about Sub-Visser 33?"   
    Marco spun around to face me. Confusion, recognition and fear flashed across his face in just a few seconds as he saw me, my body anyway, standing there with a dracon beam pointed in his direction.   
    _Isn't death by dracon beam getting a little monotonous?_ I asked, just to stall the Yeerk.   
    _Shut up, human, I don't have time to deal with you right now._   
_    Then I suggest you _make_ time!_   
I noticed Marco staring at me. I must have looked distracted as the Yeerk argued with me.   
    "Rachel? You're still in there, I know that, fight it!" he encouraged.   
    "Shut up!" the Yeerk made me shriek. The order was probably for both Marco and myself, but neither of us listened.   
    _You can't wipe us all out._   
    "Rachel, you can beat this Yeerk piece of crap!"   
    _Marco's strong, he's already seen through your scan, you can't handle both of us!_   
"Fight, Rachel, fight and win!"   
    During this, Marco had been gradually moving closer, probably trying to grab the dracon beam. Of course, as soon as I realized this, so did the Sub-Visser.   
    "No!" he screamed and pulled the trigger. Fortunately, Marco had anticipated the shot and dodged, but was still hit in the arm.   
    The Sub-Visser was surprised the shot had missed. I seized the opportunity to talk to Marco.   
    "Marco! Warn Jake! He's next. Others are already gone, in the woods--"   
    "I don't think so, humans," the Sub-Visser said, re-gaining control. He re-aimed the dracon beam, point blank at Marco, who was trying to pick himself up to run.   
    I knew  he wouldn't be able to get away in time. The Sub-Visser was too good a shot, and Marco was injured. It was just dumb luck the last shot had only gotten his arm.   
    _I'm sorry, Marco_, I said, wishing I could close my eyes so I couldn't have to watch the red beam shoot from the gun in my hand and hit the retreating Marco in the back. When I saw him fall, I thought I was going to hurl, if I'd been in control of myself. Of course, if I'd been in control of myself, we wouldn't be in this situation. I felt as if each of my friend's deaths were my fault. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself each time.   
    _Guilt. What a pointless emotion_, the Yeerk sneered.   
    _Better than none at all,_ I shot back.   
    _Oooh, did I strike a nerve?_   
    _Shut up_, was the best come back I could think of.   
    _Poor Rachel,_ the Yeerk mocked. _She's seen all her friends killed, and knows that her cousin is next._

###  Chapter Fourteen-Rachel

    The plan to catch Jake was very much like the one to get Marco. Call him, tell him to come to the woods, and kill him. This time, something would be wrong with Cassie. Just to hurt him even more, the Yeerk was going to lead him to Cassie's body. The Yeerk was assembling a sort of mass grave in the area. Tobias', Cassie's and Jake's bodies in one place, Ax's just a hundred yards away and Marco a few hundred yards beyond that. It was disgusting.   
    Sub-Visser 33 walked me to the nearest pay phone, dropped in some change, and dialed Jake's number.   
    "Hello? Cassie?" Jake answered.   
    "No, it's Rachel," the Yeerk replied, making me sound panicked. "But Cassie, she's out in the woods, hurt. She wanted me to call you."   
    "Where is she?!"   
    "I'll meet you in the meadow and lead you to her."   
    "I'll be there in a few minutes." He abruptly hung up.   
    The Yeerk made me smirk, "I'm sure you will."

###  Chapter Fifteen-Jake

    "I'll be there in a few minutes," I told Rachel then slammed down the phone. No one was home and I was supposed to be out with Cassie, so no one would wonder why I wasn't home.   
    I ran up to my bed room, opened my window and began to morph peregrine falcon as fast as I could. Less than a minute later, I was using all the speed I could to get to the woods. I tried to keep from panicking, but my mind kept dredging up scenarios of what could have happened. She'd morphed osprey and some idiot had shot her. She'd stepped in a hunter's trap and her foot was mangled. I was coming up with the stupidest ideas, part of me knew I was only making things worse, but another part couldn't help but think of the worse case scenario.   
    When I reached Tobias' meadow, I saw Rachel standing around anxiously, glancing up at the sky occasionally, probably looking for me.   
    "Okay, let's go," I said as soon as I had demorphed. rachel nodded and we began sprinting into the woods.   
    "Just through there," Rachel said, pointing to a clearing just behind some trees. She was doubled over from exhaustion, but I was still high on adrenaline. I pushed my way through the trees, ignoring the scratches I got on my arms and face.   
    "Cassie! Oh, God!"   
    Lying carelessly on the ground was her body. The cause of death was obvious, a dracon beam to her chest. Next to her was Tobias, in his human morph, also dead with a dracon beam burn in his stomach.   
    "Rachel...what happened to them?" I asked, just staring at Cassie. Cassie...the only girl I'd ever loved...dead. Brutally murdered. I didn't even try to wipe away the tears that were flowing down my cheeks.   
    "I killed them."   
    That was enough to get me to look up. "What?"   
    Rachel stepped through the trees. Slowly, deliberately. "I said, I did."

###  Chapter Sixteen-Rachel

    "What do you mean, you did?" Jake asked. "You could never kill your boy friend and best friend."   
    The Yeerk made me laugh derisively. "_Boy_ friend, Jake? He was a _bird_. And as far as the best friend thing...she seriously got on my nerves with all her moralizing crap."   
    Jake narrowed his eyes. "You're not Rachel."   
    The Yeerk laughed again. "You're a real genius, Jake. It took you long enough to figure that out."   
    "Who else have you murdered?"   
    "Your best friend and the Andalite filth."   
    That got him. Jake couldn't take being the only living Animorph left, I didn't count myself as truly alive anymore. He jumped up and ran at me, surprising the Yeerk into dropping the dracon beam. Within seconds, Jake had me pinned to the ground and was beating the crap out of me.   
    _Go Jake!_ I cheered silently.   
    "Shut up, human," the Sub-Visser growled between punches.   
    "You've killed the only people I ever cared about! I'm _not_ going to shut up!" Jake shouted, thinking the Yeerk had been talking to him.   
    "I wasn't talking to you," the Yeerk sneered while trying to push Jake away. "I was talking to this _dapsen_ cousin of yours."   
    "Rachel! C'mon, Rachel, you gotta fight this!"   
    _Gee, ya' think?_ I asked silently, but I tried fighting the Yeerk again.   
    "Jake!" I shouted. "Rope--bag--bushes!" I wasn't sure he'd been able to understand what I was trying to say, but he nodded and began looking under the bushes for my gym bag. Although the Sub-Visser quickly regained control, I kept fighting so he wouldn't be escaping while Jake looked for the rope.   
    As the Yeerk and I were still battling for control, Jake returned. He pushed me down on the ground and tied my arms behind my back and to a tree trunk. Then he tied my legs together.   
    "You won't be able to hold me, Jake," the Sub-Visser said. "You're one person, you can't stay here for three days. Your family will be looking for you. Rachel's will be looking for her. Same with Cassie and Marco. And once the bodies of your friends are found, these woods will be crawling with people trying to find their murderer."   
    "I'm going to take you to the shack I was in when I was a controller. It's a ways away from  here, and I'll find a way to explain this all to my family."   
    The Sub-Visser seethed in silent rage. He knew he was backed into a corner.   
    _Looks like the big, bad Sub-Visser isn't so powerful anymore_, I taunted.   
    _I'll win yet, girl._   
_    I don't think you will. Jake may be only one person, but he's one very determined person._   
It was the middle of the afternoon, but I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep, but was afraid of the nightmares I was sure to have. In the end, exhaustion won out and I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

###  Chapter Seventeen-Jake

    I sat in silence with Rachel for a little over an hour before she fell asleep.   
    As she was sleeping, I walked back over to where Cassie's and Tobias' bodies were left. It disgusted me that they had been shot and just left here, but I needed to be with them, it was hard to believe all my friends were gone.   
    "Cassie, I...I know I haven't always been real good at telling you how I feel but...I love you, you know that, right? I'll always love you."   
    I turned to Tobias. "Tobias, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry? I'll miss you? How about, this is my fault? I should have...I don't know, found out about Rachel. I don't even know when or how she was captured. Or even why the Yeerk in her head killed everyone instead of infesting us. But I do know this: I'm going to kill that Yeerk for you. And Marco, and Ax and...and Cassie."   
    Rachel stirred a little in her sleep. I pulled her bag out of the buses and looked inside it. Inside there was a bag of trail mix, an apple and a can of Coke.   
    "At least we won't starve," I said as I kept looking. The only other thing inside was a watch, it was 5:30. Cassie had been gone from her house for at least two and a half hours, Marco for an hour and a half and me for only an hour. Rachel had probably been cleared for the entire day. Or worse, her mother and sisters were controllers and were expecting her to be gone for extended periods of time. I was going to let Rachel sleep for another half hour before moving here. I wanted to be as far away from here as possible when, or if, searchers came out looking for us.

###  Chapter Eighteen-Rachel

        It was that afternoon again. I was walking back to the woods with Tobias. Just before he started to demorph, the Sub-Visser once again tried to distract him by making me kiss him, but this time I was ready.   
    "NO!" I yelled as the Sub-Visser drew Tobias closer. "You won't get him this time!" I managed to gain control of one arm and pushed Tobias away. "Run, Tobias! Warn the others!"   
    As Tobias started to run and demorph at the same time, Sub-Visser 33 regained control, picked up the dracon beam, which I'd caused him to drop, and fired at Tobias.   
    _No!_ I screamed. It took me a moment to realize I'd woken up and I was talking in my head again.   
    _See? Even your unconsciousness realizes that, even if you had been able to rebel successfully, I would have triumphed in the end, and your bird friend would still be dead._   
_    But he'd have died knowing the truth!_   
"Come on, Yeerk, wake up, we're moving," I heard Jake say, shaking me.   
    The Yeerk opened my eyes and glared at Jake as he untied the ropes around my wrists and pulled me up. he re-tied my arms behind my back and untied my legs. The Sub-Visser tried to kick him while he was untying me, but Jake caught my foot and held it firmly while he finished.   
    "Here's how this is going to work," he instructed. "I'm going to tie you to the tree again for a minute while I morph wolf. Once I'm morphed, I'll bite through the rope. You'll walk directly in front of me, following my directions to the shack. If you so much as think about trying to run away, I'll be on you in seconds and take you down."   
    "You'd never kill your precious cousin," the Yeerk sneered as Jake tied me back up to the tree.   
    "Look at Rachel's memories, she knows I would."   
    _He's right,_ I said. _Anything, even death, is better than having you in my head._   
Jake morphed wolf as quickly as he could. He bit through the rope tying me to the tree, but careful to leave rope around my wrists. He picked up my bag in his teeth and said, < Let's go. >

###  Chapter Nineteen-Rachel

    The next two days were filled with arguments between myself and the Yeerk and Jake and the Yeerk. To punish me, the Yeerk refused to eat and only had a few sips of Coke, just enough to keep me alive.   
    Late morning on the third day of being a controller and the second day of being in the shack, I found the meaning of 'living hell', the fugue.   
    As the Yeerk died, I saw flashes of images. Too many passing too quickly for me to really make sense of. I figured they were the memories of the Yeerk's previous hosts. The images, though I don't understand them, will stay with me the rest of my life.   
    "Ride it through, Rachel," Jake encouraged softly. "It's rough, but you'll get through."   
    As I heard/felt the screams of the dying Yeerk, I wasn't sure I could. But when I felt the Yeerk dribble out of my ear and I opened my eyes on my own, I knew I had.   
    "Welcome back," Jake said as he untied me.   
    Once I was untied I surprised both myself and Jake. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and began to cry.

###  Chapter Twenty-Jake

    Rachel's reaction was a little unexpected, but I could relate. I'd felt the same way when I'd been a controller, but there was a major difference between our experiences: I'd been discovered right away, while Rachel had witnessed the murders of four of her friends.   
    "Hey," I said after Rachel's sobs had begun to subside. "Wanna go back home? I'll walk you." She nodded. I helped her up and we began walking home.   
    "Why didn't I stop him?" she asked as we walked out of the woods. "It's my fault they're dead. It's my fault Tobias is gone. Tobias!" she was sobbing hysterically again.   
    I grabbed her by the shoulders. "Rachel, RACHEL! It's _not_ your fault. It's not anybody's fault but the Yeerks. No--"   
    "Jake?"   
    "Rachel!"   
    I turned around and saw my mom and dad along with both of Rachel's parents running towards us.   
    "Jake! Where have you been?! We've--" Mom started crying then and couldn't finish what she was saying.   
    "I'm fine, Mom. I've...I was out in the woods with Cassie. We got separated. I found Rachel out there, too."   
    My dad put a hand on my shoulder. "Jake, Cassie...They found her body back in the woods. Next to another boy. No one knows him. Marco was found in the meadow near Cassie's."   
    I pretended I hadn't known about them, but pretending to cry over them wasn't necessary. The tears were real. A few feet away, Rachel's parents were telling her about Cassie, she burst into a new wave of tears.   
    "Can we go home?" I asked.   
    "Of course, Jake," my Mom said. We walked to our car and drove home.

###  Chapter Twenty-One-Rachel

    "I think I know who the boy was," I told my parents as we drove home.   
    "Who?" Mom asked.   
    "A...a friend from school," I said while trying not to start crying again. "His name's Tobias." I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks again, but I wiped them away.   
    "Tomorrow we'll go to the police," Dad said. I nodded and resumed staring blankly out the window, trying to block out the memories of the past three days.   
    When we got home, I spent a long time crying again and hugging my sisters. Once that was done, I went straight for the kitchen. I hadn't eaten since breakfast three days ago, and right now I didn't care about fat or sugar. I pulled out the Oreos, the brownies, the apple pie, left over pizza. Not exactly a balanced meal, but a delicious one.   
    The next day the house was filled with friends and family coming to see me. Lots more tears and hugs. More importantly, more things to think about than what had happened in the woods.   
    As the number of visitors decreased over the next few days and I went back to school, those memories kept themselves fresh in my mind.   
    I sank into depression. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate in school. Mom took me to a psychologist, but she said my reaction was normal, considering what I'd been through. Normal. Right.   
    When I got home from school a few days later, I found that I couldn't take this anymore. Couldn't take the way Mom babied me. Couldn't take the memories of my time as a controller or going to Cassie's and Tobias' funerals.   
    I went into the bathroom I share with Jordan. I opened the cupboard and pulled out a spare razor blade.   
    _Rachel, you can't do this!_ a voice in my head said.   
    _Watch me,_ I replied as I lowered the blade to my wrist.   
    _At least leave a note! Something, anything!_   
I set the blade down on the counter and went back to my room. I pulled out two sheets of my best stationary and quickly wrote two notes. One to my parents and sisters, the other to Jake. I sealed them in envelopes, labeled them, and put them on the dining room table.   
    I slowly walked back up to the bathroom, beginning to have doubts about what I was planning, but I knew I had to. No more nightmares. No more memories. No more looks of pity.   
    I laughed a little as I picked up the razor. It was ironic, whenever I'd heard of a kid committing suicide, I'd thought they were an idiot for taking their own life, that they were selfish and immature. Now, here I was, in my bathroom, holding a razor above my wrist, but I knew there was no other alternative. I couldn't exactly go to a psychologist and talk about my problems. So I pressed the blade to each of my wrists. I watched as the blood flowed out and puddled on the counter and dripped to the floor before I passed out.

###  Chapter Twenty-Two-Jake

_Six Months Later..._

I stood at Rachel's grave and opened the letter I'd read hundreds of times over the last six months.

_Jake-_   
_    If you're reading this, I guess I went through with my suicide plan. I know you're going to feel guilty, but don't, it's not your fault. I had to do this to save myself. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but if you'd killed your best friend, your boy friend (or girl friend) and two close friends in one day, and were haunted by the memory of that and being a controller, you'd feel the same way._   
_    I'm telling my parents that I just couldn't take the people at school and not having Cassie around to hang out with anymore, but if it's ever safe, please tell them what I really happened those three days, as much as you can, at least. I want them to understand the hell that made me do this._   
_    Good bye, Jake, and best of luck to you always. I hope our side wins, I'm just sorry I won't be there to celebrate with you._   
_                                                                                                                                    Love,_   
_                                                                                                                                            Rachel___

    I folded the letter back up. "It's over, Rachel. It's finally over."

  



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